It's not how far you have left, but how far you have come.....

For many of us on our weight loss journey it can seem never ending. You work and work at a goal and it seems no matter how hard you work, you STILL have weight to lose… but the ticket isn’t looking at how far you have left, it’s looking at how far you have come.

A year ago I finished my first triathlon…and I was only 8 months post partum (as in my baby was only 8 months old) many people thought I was crazy for even attempting it, as I was only about 4-5 months post partum when I started training. Truth be told I thought I was a little crazy too, but as you can read hereI was at my wits end… signing up for a race seemed like the best way to keep me accountable… and you know what it did.

It was hard I won’t even lie, but I made up a training plan (ok I downloaded a sprint triathlon beginner training program for free online from Hal Higdon highly recommend him). So I had a plan. It started off easy, run 20 minutes one day, bike 30 minutes another day etc, but then as the plan wore on it got harder and incorporated bricks… as in more then one workout back to back, as in 15 minutes of swimming followed by 30 minutes of running or 45 minutes of biking followed by 20 minutes of running. The theory was your body gets used to the transition between each event and really just doing each event in concession period! I can’t really say I felt like giving up at all during the training, however I can say I felt like strangling my husband….

I could go on FOREVER about all the challenges I faced while training but I know they are the same as every other woman around. i.e. husband puts his exercise before yours, husband travels is never home (single mom), kids are sick need tlc, just plain sick and tired and want to sleep, no energy after 8 hours at a mind numbing job, just to come home to a messy house and a family to feed, a infant who refused to sleep through the night no matter how many tricks or old wives tales you tried, ok get the point? Like I said it wasn’t easy…

The thing I had going for me was I was determined…. Sometimes I didn’t get out to ride my bike until 9pm, but I did anyways.. And I used the anger and frustration over whatever it was that prevented me from getting out there 2 hours earlier as originally planned. All the weight I carried on my shoulders lifted in the water and dissipated with each stroke, and each time my foot landed another piece of frustration caused by idiotic government semantics was pounded into the pavement. I also had to get a little creative to avoid any logistical nightmares, for example, if my brick consisted of a bike ride and run it was too easy, I ride my bike in my neighborhood, drop it in my driveway then continue running.. if my brick consisted of swimming and running, I would bring my gear to work then slip off to the gym right next to my building and get my laps in then throw some clothes on and go to the track right outside the door to the gym and get some more laps in… I even biked to the gym swam laps then biked home.. whatever it took I got (most) of my workouts in as planned. To deal with the mommy guilt I put Vicki in the bike trailer, tugged her to the park and let her play, if Angelo took a random nap early in the evening I would ask my brother in law to watch him for a bit while I got in my workout. The funny thing was I didn’t feel as much guilt the more I got into my workouts.. mainly because I felt so much better in general. I had energy again, I wasn’t moving in slow motion just trying to get by each day until I could crawl into my bed.. I was… living. The time I spent with my kids had more quality to it, even if some of my workouts took time away. I was happier.. they must have been happier (you know what they say if MOM isn’t happy… well nobody is!) and really I no longer felt like a prisoner in my life, really that is worth priceless.

What also really helped is all the motivation and support I received from everyone.. because let’s face it, it’s the digital age, I kept track of all my workouts via facebook. Each “like” on a status update, and every “whooo hoo” or “wow that is awesome” gave me the motivation each time I had to lace up my sneakers or snap on my running cap. Of course there was other motivation, i.e. When I put these pants on in a rush to work (these are my magic pants.. no matter what clean laundry heap they are in they NEVER wrinkle!) and I get irritated because something just doesn’t feel right… I look down and duh its because they are too big and the crotch was twisted to the side… my frustration at life in general became elation… and I’m pretty sure I gave even more to my workout that day, and of course these pants are so big on me now, I almost can't wear them anymore... which is bittersweet,,, like I said these are my magic pants ;)

I did miss some workouts, either because I was just too to the bone tired, or one of the kids was sick, or you know… whatever… but bottom line I was proud of how well I had stuck to my plan and I actually felt (sort of) prepared for my race.

Race day came and went (I should do a race report on that huh??) and I felt like a million bucks… I was like yeah b!t*h I owned you!! Even though I think really it owned me… and after that (and a few pieces of chocolate cake for recovery) I was hooked on racing, and it kept me on track. I followed the sprint tri with a 10k, several 5k’s, an 8 miler and then two half marathons. 2010 was really MY year, a year to bust outside the box, break free of whatever oppressive chains society (and my family) tried to put on me...

Of course a full year (and some change) later I am still not where I want to be… I have 20-25lbs left to lose, I seem to struggle more now with fitting in workouts then I did then it’s almost like once 2011 rolled in I had high hopes but the momentum that propelled me through the previous year had lost steam… I was real frustrated with where I was until I realized DUH MAYBE my training had slowed down a bit, MAYBE I didn't log as many miles each week as I used to, and MAYBE I wasn’t following my current training as well as I was before but I still WAS I run 3 miles in an evening pushing the jogger like its nothing (ha well not nothing) and a year ago I could barley do that… I can do “real” pushups again… I can do pull ups (assisted) with less assistance then I used to need, I can lift heavier and hey… I am down almost 60 POUNDS!!! That is my 4 year old daughter… who I struggle to pick up now because she is so big.. I used to have that HANGING off my body from the time I rolled out of bed until the time I rolled back in… Everywhere I went (and every time I exercised) I had that on me…

I realized that the 20-25lbs I still have left to lose really isn’t THAT much in the grand scheme of things and the 10k that I feel undertrained for(that started this sudden pit of despair)…. I will be ready for you!

The moral of the story is, don’t make mountains out of mole hills, and before you let yourself get too frustrated over how far you have to go, look behind you and see how far you have come.  You might realize you don't really have that much further to go.  Use the comfort in that to help give you strength for the finish. <3

How I learned to drop the "weight"

A lot of people have new year’s resolutions when it comes to fitness… you hear it all the time.. oh starting Jan 1st I’m going to go to the gym every day so I can lose 40lbs finally!!! For many people who are in the battle to be “skinny” it’s a reason to reset the clock and buckle down and get “serious”.

My resolution hasn’t been any different than the resolution I made with myself that day I was standing in the dressing room of Ross with a size 16w dress in my hand…. I was going to “do something about the way I looked”. At the time I didn’t realize how in sync I was with modern day fitness professionals. To us “normal” or unfit people making a goal of losing a certain number of lbs the only goal we really think about…there is so much focus put onto weight… how do you calculate your BMI (body mass index)?? Weight and height… if you have a BMI of 25-29.9 you are considered overweight… anything over that you are considered… OBESE my current BMI is 29.5… I’m considered overweight… and I’m told by many fitness websites I need to get to a “healthy weight” what does that even mean?? What does my weight have to do with it?? How am I at an unhealthy weight at 194lbs?? I can run for 13.1 miles without stopping… I can swim for 750 meters, then bike 12 miles, then run 3 miles without stopping… I can do bicep curls with 25lb dumbbells without much of a struggle… how is that unhealthy? The truth of the matter is from a technical standpoint… how much you weigh has NOTHING to do with how healthy you are OR how good you look case in point- look at the picture… do I look like I weighed 196lbs in this picture?

Truth is I did.. and I am still over 190lbs at this very moment.. if I was a MMA fighter I would be a light heavy weight for crying out loud!! Honestly it took me awhile to get over watching the scale day after day, waiting to see the results of each workout… it drove me mad… is it really necessary to step on the scale every day?? NO is it really practical to expect to see results within a day or two?? HELL to the NO… in fact I maintain the scale was invented by a man that had an extremely nasty wife and he wanted a way to torture her while diverting her ruthless nagging away from him. The truth of the matter is the scale has nothing to do with how healthy you are, how good you look or how great you feel… well that’s not true.. the scale can make you feel like a horrible fat failure of a person when really you are a fit and hot looking individual…
Luckily without knowing it I somehow managed to make the perfect fitness goal. Rewinding back to April I made my new fitness goal completing a Triathlon..That was my ONLY goal… a goal I made on my own using critical thinking skills I picked up as an analyst.. I had deducted that after many trials and errors trying to “lose weight” by trying to fit in workouts in my busy schedule I was going to “complete a triathlon” by doing that I was going to be doing something about the way I looked…. Weight loss became a byproduct of my journey to get fit and not the main focus. By doing that alone I felt lighter already!

A end state of being x weight is the most frustrating impractical way to go about it… who cares if you weigh 120lbs on a 5’7” frame if your belly skin jiggles and your arms are little toothpicks you can’t even use to open a jar of pickles with?? During the time it takes you to get to that weight you will face constant disappointment with each week that goes by as you watch and wait for the scale to get closer and closer to your goal weight… the best way is to pick a fitness goal! It doesn’t have to be as extreme as mine.. completing a triathlon.. but it can be something simple like running a 5k race, there is a c2k (couch to 5k run) program out there anyone can do.. you don’t like to run? No problem pick a aerobics class that looks fun and make that your goal.. ie going to zumba 3 times a week, or I will take up step classes and my goal is to go from no risers on my step to two in 2 months… or finish my awesome workout video without stopping to catch my breath in 3 months… there is an exercise goal out there for everyone…

How do you measure your success without the forsaken scale???




Special K said the best way to measure how great you look is by how you look in your favorite pair of jeans… FYI I do not recommend the special k diet it is one of the most unhealthy ways to lose weight.. they just have a really good commercial ;)

Take before and after photos.. take your measurements once every two weeks…even if the scale hasn’t moved in 3 weeks, you will surprise yourself.. case in point… I participated in a weight loss contest, it was 6 weeks long.. in this 6 weeks I lost a total of 2 lbs… but I lost a total of 8 inches from my waist, chest and hips….


Bottom line… you don’t walk around with your weight tattooed on your forehead… nobody can look at you and judge how you look based of what your hidden at home scale says… they are going to judge it by “how you look in them jeans!” and even at 194lbs I can say I totally rock them jeans!

The "oh sh!t" factor

Now back tracking a bit to way before my half marathon.. the story of how I ended up registering for my first triathlon in an attempt to eliminate the excuses... and finally get back on the road to fitness

As hard as it was I did ok sticking to my plan, a couple times a week I loaded the kids up in the jogger and went for a walk/run and I tried to get to a class at least once every two weeks.. but I was tired.. and guilty.. and I just had a hard time keeping my motivation levels where they needed to be. Sometimes I thought to myself who cares that I’m fat?? I am married and have two kids do I really need to care what I look like? So what if I have a closet FILLED with beautiful (expensive) clothes from express that I haven’t been able to wear in 3 years? So what if I won’t be able to shop at express (my all time favorite store) EVER AGAIN. It just didn’t seem like it was worth all the effort. It was something I struggled with for a bit.. the reality was I was ALWAYS an in shape person, I always ran.. even in middle school.. I was on the cross country team and still woke up early most days to run, high school I ran with the dog, and got into rugby, shoot I was in the freaking army for pete sake.. more then that I was a SAW gunner in Iraq, I carried over 100lbs of combat gear on my persons on convoys on a fairly consistent basis.. I even went to the gym and lifted weights.. and I didn’t lift weights like no girl are you kidding me?! I had 3 friends that took me to the gym with them, taught me how to lift, proper form, weights, rep etc. I wasn’t one of those pansies on those pully machines (not that we really had them over there) I was lifting for real.. I was doing bicep curls with 25lbs dumbbells.. with difficulty at first but then I started banging them out like it was nothing I came back home so ripped even my dad was like damn, I think you might be able to kick MY ass…I drove his point home by wrapping my arms around him and lifting his entire 240lb body off the ground a good 6 inches without much strain. Now here I was flabby arms flabby stomach chubby legs.. shoot I missed that wow factor.. I missed people looking at me and saying DAMN I do NOT want to mess with that… its just how I am.. I need that oh sh!t factor in my life.. what can I say I really should have been born a man!
Anyways… after realizing I needed that oh sh!t factor in my life I started thinking about how I could get that back.. and after catching an episode of scrubs where JD enters a triathlon in honor of his impending birthday bingo the light came on.. JLo aka Jennifer Lopez did a triathlon after she had her twins to help her get back in shape.. and completing a triathlon is most definitely in the oh sh!t category…because when it comes down to it how many people really do them? It would be easy(ish), I was a good swimmer in fact swimming is one of my all time favorites activities. I had been working on running again the only issue in my mind was the bike.. I used to bike a lot growing up but had I ever really biked 12 miles?
I started bouncing the idea around in my head for the next couple weeks…my husband and my bff both told me I was a little off my rocker and the reality was at this moment in time there was NO way I could run for 3 miles strait let alone run 3 miles after swimming for 750 meters and biking 12 miles..but I could if I worked at it.. and while I worked at it I would lose weight.. right?? Isn’t’ that how it works? You bust your butt and you lose weight? I started talking to my brother in law about it, I told him I was thinking of doing it and there were 2 coming up, one in July and one in October. I was thinking of doing the one in October because then I would have a lot of time to train and not look like a total idiot… He was like well why don’t you just do both, then you can do better the second time, then he asked me what exactly was involved. He was the epitome of fitness, he spend a lot of time in the garage lifting weights, jump roping and busting out on the elliptical… it was insane how much this kid worked out.. but hey when I was his age that’s where I was too
So he squinted his eyes as he was thinking and said” yeah that sounds alright I might do that with you” hmm well if he was going to do it I couldn’t really have him do it alone, and I had less of a reason to NOT do it. The next day at work I messaged him I asked him are you sure you want to do this? Really in July?? He was like yeah let’s do it up why not are you down? I was trying to find a million reasons why I shouldn’t do it.. come on me do a triathlon?? With a little less than 3 months to do it? I realized all I had was excuses..I finally just said f*&k it… why not…and just like that I was committed to doing a sprint triathlon…